Tyler’s accident hit very close to home for me. We were friends, co-workers and shared a common mountain community. In the early stages of his recovery, I witnessed him unravel. His identity began to slip away. It was hard to watch a friend suffer each day, with very little positive outlook for the future; there was simply too much uncertainty, too many unknowns. As time passed we began to connect in a subtly different way. During his recovery I was also trying to recover from my own trauma, albeit a very different version. It was still pain. Our ebb and flows seem to almost mimic one-another. I started to feel a little less alone in my own troubling discomfort. In this moment, the universality of his words had potency.

I wanted to create a film that acknowledges emotional depth within individuals in sport communities. I am often surrounded by those who utilize high intensity sport to deal with their mental conflicts, which effectively allow a reprieve from their emotional hardships until those efforts are dismantled by something like an injury. Their sense of self identity being tightly wrapped up in their own coping mechanisms, such as adrenaline based sport, can promote a drastic downward spiral when it’s taken away. Consequently, they are forced into a place of change and growth to both rediscover and redefine their identity.

When I approached Tyler about the film, he did not hesitate. He also wanted to create a film that was unabashedly real, leaving nothing out.

My main intentions moving into this filming were to create a gift for a friend who could reflect on it, see his progress from a different perspective. The subject matter was inherently delicate and we endeavoured to be respectful of the very real roller coaster ride that he was on. As explored potential themes, I was surprised to unveil what was to become a foundational love story along with a brutally honest attempt at reconnection with his sense of identity. We also explored a complicated relationship with social media and the importance of building trust through patience with your subject matter as a film maker.

Tyler’s story feels timely and apropos. Durning a period of extended isolation, individuals are now faced with emerging from the chrysalis of a new reality. Also, this film speaks to young adults - an audience that statistically struggles with anxiety and depression now more than ever.

I hope that my audience connects with both the darkness and the light in the film - for they are inexorably linked in our shared human experience. I have so much gratitude for the cast and crew - and everyone else who helped along the way.

Lara Shea, 2021.